a guest post by Brandii Stuart
I am a Native New Yorker who is all about the grind. In 2019, I was a teacher during the day, a student at night, and on the weekends, I was so swamped with homework that I didn’t have much time to go out unless it was for a quick hookup, which I was very fond of at the time. No one has ever broken my heart — if I’m honest, I might be the “heartbreaker.” I’m very upfront and direct about how I feel, and I never lead people on. If I’m into it, I’m all in. But the moment I’m not, I end things, which has been jarring for past partners. I’m a Sagittarius, so I just tell people exactly where I stand.
During that time when I was on Tinder, I wasn’t looking for anything serious — I just wanted to hook up and date. I had been single for two years after breaking up with my previous girlfriend, and I really wanted to just date around. I’ve always been the relationship type, so I wanted to experience being single for at least a year… ended up being single for two years. I wouldn’t say I was a player, but I was definitely dating a few other women when I met Charlotte. I had classes in Midtown and lived uptown, so I would spend my time swiping on Tinder while waiting for the train. There was no method to my madness when it came to swiping. As long as they were hot and a woman (I’m a lesbian), they got a swipe from me!
I saw a profile of a gorgeous girl with these piercing green eyes, who not only lived in my old neighborhood but also had a few photos on a yacht. Naturally, I thought: JACKPOT. I swiped on her and went to my three-hour, painfully boring psychology class. Once out of class, I checked my phone, and it was a match… but no message. This was the frustrating thing about online dating—people would match with me, but things would never go further than that. It felt like this sick waiting game that I was no longer fond of, so I decided to take the initiative and message her first.
Just as I was typing a message to her, serendipitously, a text from her popped up. It felt like fate, but after so many bad dates, I didn’t want to jinx it, so I kept it cool. We started chatting around 9 PM, and before I knew it, it was about 1 AM, and we had plans to go to a jazz bar the following day for our first date. At this point, I was still dating other people, but I was super upfront with everyone that I was keeping things open and just enjoying the experience—true Sagg shit. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but I also wasn’t closed off to one.
It was the middle of February, and the news had just announced that it would be the coldest day of the year and advised people to stay inside. But when the heart is warm, what’s a chilly day? Around 2:30 AM, I was getting tired and decided to end the conversation and said goodnight. But I guess the universe had other plans…
“I wish I could see you now,” she said in her text.
I thought about it and wrote back, “Why can’t you?”
“Come over.”
Next thing I knew, I was in a cab at 3 AM in the blistering cold, going to this stranger’s house.
But as the Uber got closer, paranoia set in. I started thinking, What if she didn’t exist and it was a setup? What if she quite literally tries to kill me? What if she had a boyfriend who was going to pop out from behind a door? (This has happened to me before.) As all of these thoughts consumed me, the driver interrupted my mental spiral and said, “Miss, your stop.” It was too late to turn back now.
I hesitatingly walked up to her doorman and whispered her apartment number. He picked up a phone and called her apartment to let her know she had a guest. I heard her ask him, “Is she hot?” (Rude! Lol.) I had a platinum blonde pixie cut, baggy pants with Vans, and a vintage fur on… hot? I’m not sure, but a vibe, nonetheless. The doorman stared me up and down, smirked, and said, “Yeah.”
A loud buzzer rang, and the doorman said, “The apartment to the left.” I didn’t have time to freshen up in the elevator — or run out — because I already heard the latch coming off of her door. As I walked up, she was standing there in the doorway, wearing sheer lingerie with a smile and spilled out a dry “hi.” I stepped into her apartment and shyly said, “Hey.”
My first thought when I saw her was: Damn, she is fineeee. I was also super relieved that she was much more attractive in person and a lot taller than me. Her Tinder profile didn’t do her justice. I had been dating people who weren’t typically my physical type, trying to keep an open mind, but when I saw her, I melted. It felt like home. Safe.
She offered me wine, and I said, “Leave the bottle.” But before anything, I had to ask, “Are you a killer? Do you have men here?” She laughed and said no to both, but I needed proof, so I asked for a tour of her place. She humored me, and we walked through her apartment together. I even checked behind doors and under her bed. Besides a cat that leaped from the fridge out of nowhere, the coast was clear.
Typically, with hookups, I’m never shy and am usually the one who wants to get right to it. But for some reason, this time, I wanted to sit for a bit. This felt different. We chatted for a while on her couch, and then I heard her dog in the crate, so I asked if she could let him out because I love dogs.
She let him out, and he latched onto my jeans and tried to bite me, but I shook him off. I grew up with dogs and love them, so I thought it was endearing — she, on the other hand, was mortified. Then she asked if we could go to the room.
Well, I can’t stall any longer, I thought and agreed.
We went into her bedroom. It was dimly lit, with PartyNextDoor playing softly. We hooked up, and it was great for a first-time hookup, and then we fell asleep right after. Two hours later, my alarm sounded for me to get up to go to work, blaring in her bedroom. She rolled over and said, “Don’t go to work, it’s the coldest day of the year.” I agreed and then called my boss and told her I was sick.
We never got out of bed that day… or any day after.
Lesbians move fast — like, U-Haul fast. Within two weeks, I had ended things with the other women I was dating. Next thing I knew, I had basically moved into her place, and we were officially coupled up. It was fast, but something about Charlotte’s caring and nurturing energy made me feel safe enough to go with it.
Six years later, we are still together, engaged, and live in LA with our dog Huey, who has traded in his bites for kisses. Never in a million years would I have thought that a hookup would turn into a relationship, let alone an engagement, but it did, and I truly believe it was fate.
So sometimes, it pays to swipe right. 🙂
~ Brandii Stuart
