Can I just say something? Dating in 2024 is more chaotic than a flash mob in a china shop — unpredictable, loud, and you never know what’s going to break next! And sometimes you’re stuck walking on glass, trying to clean up a mess you didn’t expect to make. Like, the other day, when I was on Instagram and accidentally requested to follow the Storm. Honestly, I wanted to throw up imagining him getting that notification. My thoughts spiraled: Do I un-request it? Is that worse? Paralyzed by my own mistake, I was left with the question: Was it mercury retrograde? Was it a slip of clumsy fingers? Or was it simply a slip of fate? Do our mistakes shape our destiny? Are some things so real that they are meant to be? And small accidents catapult them into fruition?
It has been over two months since Storm and I last spoke. The conversation ended with him saying there was “no friendship here anymore” and me hanging up the phone on him. He then unfollowed me and removed me as a follower on Instagram. We have not spoken since. Until…
Fast forward to the other day, I was on Instagram and typing in a letter on my search bar, and his profile came up…it was a total fluke, my fingers were moving so fast, and I was kind of tipsy. I clicked his page, and as I tried to get off it, I accidentally requested to follow him. I froze. Holy shit. Would it be worse if I undid it? If he had already seen it, it would have looked like I was lurking on his page. So I left it.
Thirty minutes pass…I get a notification. It’s a message. My heart sunk into my stomach.
“Yes?” he sent. As if he was saying, what do you want?
At first, I thought, “I’m not going to answer, and I’m going to pretend this didn’t happen.” But then I thought to myself, “Maybe this is a chance to mend whatever is left of a broken situation. Maybe we can be friends. Maybe this minor incident was fate…”
So all I said back was, “I just wanted to see how you’ve been.”
“Doing well,” he said.
At this point, he still hadn’t accepted my request or followed me, so I double-tapped the message and left it as is.
But then…I got another message.
“Okay we can be friends.”
He followed me. Liked a photo.
Here we go again.
And it’s funny because he’d been on my mind more than normal, like I’d felt his energy lately. Maybe it was some sort of premonition. Or supernatural force. And maybe it’s not even that we’re meant to be in some romantic sense. Maybe we were just supposed to mend our friendship and have closure. I don’t know.
But he continued to make conversation. He asked how I’d been. He told me where he was these days (not LA). It was like so much had changed, yet we were picking up right where we left off.
Then he asked a question I wasn’t prepared for…
“Did you start a new platform?”
Holy cannoli. He’s asking about the platform that he partially inspired. My first four articles of Love, Sex, LA were about my time with him. I wanted to vomit. But hey, I had to own it. So I did.
I told him that I started a love and dating column…and I thanked him for all the great material.
“Material? Explain,” he said.
“You can read it yourself and find out.”
“Is my name in it? I am confused.”
“No.”
“Okay good, send me the link gossip girl.”
VOMITTING. At this point, I’m losing my shit. He is literally reading articles I’ve written about him and all the feelings I had for him during the time we hung out. Feelings I kept internalized and never really spoke aloud.
I get my friend Lynn on the phone, and I’m pacing my house, telling her what’s going on.
As I’m yapping, I get another message from him.
“U are a great writer…Like insane writer.”
I want to throw my phone across the room and never look at it again. Because yes, despite in person when I talk to my friends and act like I don’t care…I do care.
And the scary part is, I like the Storm way too much for this. I lose grasp of my emotions with him.
The next morning, I woke up to a message from him at 5 AM. He had sent my story back to me of a photo I posted of Love, Sex, LA taped up to a street light post in Venice. Then he started sending me videos to recreate for Love, Sex, LA’s social media platforms. I couldn’t help but wonder, did he only view me as a friend? Was I the crazy girl who wrote about our situationship and took it way more seriously than he did?
How the hell did I accidentally follow him? Was this fate? Did God see this coming? Or was it just a simple coincidence? A mishap? A mess? That I’m going to be left cleaning up. Am I looking into signs? Or is it a big red flashing light?
Are we actually friends? Or are we headed down a path much deeper than that? Is this simply a detour? Because I’m someone who doesn’t really believe in coincidences. But I do believe in divine intervention. Fate. Miracles. Maybe I’ll have nothing else to write about with the Storm. Maybe this is it. Maybe our conversations will only go as far as those few Instagram messages, or maybe there will be more in store. I guess we’ll find out. I know that everything happens for a reason. And as I look at his name that has suddenly reappeared on my Instagram notifications, and the feelings that have suddenly reappeared (truly, they never left) inside of my chest, I pray to God I don’t get caught up in the chaos of a storm that once swept me off my feet and I barely landed. Why do I go chasing the chaos? Or does it find me?
How do we know when something is fate versus a simple coincidence? I guess only time will tell. For now, all I can do is stay calm in the midst of the Storm’s return…and pray that I don’t get taken down by the strength of my feelings for him. But here’s the thing about storms: they’re unpredictable. You never really know when they’ll pass or when they’ll turn your world upside down. In love, as in weather, sometimes the best you can do is hold your ground and hope the skies clear.
Stay tuned for more…
Xoxo,
Alexandria
Something to ponder: Do you believe in fate? Or are some things merely coincidences?