Can I just say something? If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably spent the month of March obsessing — like full-blown limerence — over JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy. And it’s not just their iconic style, his perfect hairline, or her cool job at Calvin Klein. What women are really obsessed with is the idea that a man pursued a woman relentlessly — sending flowers to her office every day until she finally said yes. Because let’s be honest: that kind of pursuit feels almost mythical now.
How did something that used to be the foundation of romance suddenly become such a foreign and distant concept? And why are women, now more than ever, yearning to feel pursued, desired, and chosen?
Let’s unpack it.
After years of “girl boss” culture telling women we have to do everything — build the career, make the first move, plan the date, split the check — it’s no wonder many women are suddenly craving something that feels a little softer. And no, that doesn’t mean women can’t run companies or lead incredible lives. Of course we can. But somewhere along the way, we started acting like being pursued was something we should apologize for wanting.
Sure, we can call first or ask someone out. But isn’t part of the beauty of being a woman allowing a man to pursue us? Women aren’t nostalgic for the 90s…we miss effort.
In a world where men once appreciated the chase and women left something to the imagination, things feel very different now. Women who play hard to get — or simply refuse to be easily obtained — are no longer seen as mysterious or desirable. Instead, women with standards, patience, and self-respect are often labeled something else entirely: a tease.
So now what? How do we bring back the art of the divine feminine — and the men who rise to meet it?
We stand our ground. We stop lowering our standards to accommodate a culture that rewards convenience over effort.
“No means no.”
“Open my door.”
“No, I don’t believe in 50/50.”
These aren’t just TikTok buzzwords. They are the boundaries that shape how we allow ourselves to be treated by future partners. And maybe the real answer is simpler than we think. Stop making it so easy on men. You don’t need to call first. You don’t need to sleep with him on the first date. You don’t need to rush intimacy just because modern dating has created artificial timelines in your head. Relationships aren’t meant to be fast-tracked.
Leave room for anticipation. Leave room for effort. Leave room for something to build slowly — something with a real foundation — instead of skipping steps because society promised that “girl boss” independence would fulfill us in ways that, for many women, it simply hasn’t.
What separated Carolyn Bessette from every other woman on JFK Jr.’s roster wasn’t just her beauty or her style. It was the quiet confidence of a woman who knew exactly what she wanted, and wasn’t afraid to make him work for it.
When a woman knows her worth, she doesn’t lower her standards to be chosen — and the right man doesn’t expect her to. He simply rises to meet them.
Xoxo,
Alexandria