Do you ever think about the shining faces of expecting parents, mulling over lists of baby names? The decision takes days, weeks even, and the repercussions carry on across generations! One day, a guy thinks it’s cool to name his kid after a precious metal. But 100 years later? You’ll find Sterling Junior, finally proposing to his girlfriend of ten years with a sterling silver ring because he thinks it’s poetic..
Names create a self-fulfilling prophecy, that over our lifetimes we strive to fulfill. Whether it’s a name we inherit, or one we define for ourselves, with a name comes meaning. But more importantly, with a name, comes patterns.
Take, for example, an anecdote that should serve as a cautionary tale…
One sunny day in April, our main character’s girlhood shattered when she discovered that her boyfriend of nearly a year had been cheating behind her back. He really was a jackass, but for this story, we’ll call him Jack 1. Riding on the coattails of her breakup with Jack 1, our main character entered a new city. She built friendships and invested in herself, and her career. Seemingly doing everything right, she decided to dip her toes back into the dating world nearly six months later.
On that very night, she met a new man. Sure, his arrogant-to-hot ratio was above one, but there was something deeply sensitive and personal about this one. He wooed her with an expensive dinner and deep talks about his passions. By the end of the night, she only had one thing holding her back…his name was Jack.
Silencing the alarms in her mind, she decided she was being ridiculous. He couldn’t be another jackass… right?
Jack 2 began to probe deeper. Asking about her past, and wanting to learn all the nuts and bolts of her old relationship, while remaining mysteriously closed off about his own. Our main character’s defenses began to rise. After another week or two, she began to wonder why Jack 2, the epitome of a womanizer, had not yet taken things to the next level.
Our main character decided to do some sleuthing of her own.
All things come to light eventually, but before I reveal the inevitable truth, there’s some context you should be aware of:
Jack 1 hadn’t changed. Reliable sources tell us he’s still a cheating ass, who was currently cheating on his new girlfriend, named Kat.
Turns out, the only thing Jack 2 was committed to was keeping his lies as well-tailored as his dinner suit. While he was out wooing our main character, he was keeping dirty secrets from his girlfriend. Yes, girlfriend, whose name was also…Kat.
These men were not related, nor had they ever encountered each other. These girls were totally different, and their paths had never crossed. But somehow the same names ended up playing the same role.
To grow and leave the past behind, we can’t hold onto worthless souvenirs. Nor can we accept an engagement ring made of cubic zirconia from Sterling Junior (the third). To truly move forward and avoid falling into the same traps, we might have to take a long look in the mirror and examine ourselves. What is it, truly, that draws us to the same name twice?
Is it coincidence, or are we just trying to rewrite the same story, with different faces but the same ending?
by Anna Chase
Anna Chase is a university student navigating the dangerous waters of the dating world in LA. Born and raised in Northern California, she spends her free time at the beach, soaking up that SoCal sun. Make sure to follow Anna @AnnaChassion.