If you told me I’d be sipping dirty martinis in a city known more for suburban sprawl than sexy cocktail culture, I probably would’ve laughed and asked if we were talking about the same Glendale. But plot twist—it turns out Glendale isn’t just for Armenian bakeries and mid- week errands at The Americana. She’s got some serious dirty potential. So I put on my heels (yes, even in Glendale), grabbed a friend, and went on a mission to find the filthiest martinis north of Los Feliz. Here are the top three spots where Glendale gets dirty—and dare I say, a little bit glamorous.

1. The San Fernando

This is where the cool kids of Glendale are hiding. The San in Glendale Fernando is low-lit, vibey, and serves up dirty martinis that hit just the right brine-to-vodka ratio. Bonus points for the live music and outdoor patio that feels like a secret backyard party—if that backyard had really good lighting and bartenders who actually care.

2. The Famous

Located across from The Americana, The Famous feels like a noir film set with way better cocktails. It’s giving Gatsby meets Glendale, and the martinis? Cold, stiff, and served with olives that taste like they’ve been soaking in secrets. Go late, sit at the bar, and pretend you’re someone mysterious. It works here.

3. Mya Rooftop at The Glenmark Hotel
If you’re looking for views and vibes, Mya’s your girl. It’s rooftop chic without the LA pretension. The Mediterranean small plates are fab, but let’s be real—we came for the martini. Get it dirty, drink it slow, and soak in the skyline. Glendale, who knew?

Whether you’re rooftop sipping or barstool brooding, Glendale proves a dirty martini doesn’t have to come with a WeHo zip code. See you next round.