Let’s be real: in Old Town Scottsdale, “dirty” has range. Sometimes it’s the state of your group chat after a Saturday night, sometimes it’s your DMs at 2 a.m., but here, we’re talking about the one kind of dirty we can all agree on: the dirty martini.

Because if you’re going to brave the sticky, tequila-soaked sidewalks of Old Town, you deserve a drink that’s as bold—and slightly unhinged—as your dating life. Welcome to Let’s Get Dirty: a mini field guide to the best dirty martinis in the Valley.

1. The Montauk

You can’t do Old Town without hitting The Montauk. It’s basically a rite of passage—whether you’re a bachelorette, a finance bro, or just here for the Instagram. Their dirty martini is ice-cold, just salty enough, and best paired with lobster mac and cheese and an “accidental” run-in with your ex’s new situationship. Bonus: the vibes are East Coast chic meets Scottsdale scandal, so you can pretend you’re in the Hamptons (until the DJ drops Pitbull).

2. Boondocks Patio & Grill

Not all heroes wear capes—some just pour a mean dirty martini at Boondocks. This indoor/outdoor gem is where you’ll find locals and tourists alike, mixing it up under string lights and pretending it’s not 98 degrees at midnight. Their dirty martini is simple, classic, and best enjoyed after a little friendly competition on the patio games. Warning: one too many, and you might text your ex. (Again.)

3. Maple & Ash

For those nights when you’re feeling a little extra (or you actually showered before going out), make your way to Maple & Ash. This is where Scottsdale’s hottest go to see and be seen—and their dirty martini is as luxe as the crowd. Expect blue cheese-stuffed olives, top-shelf vodka, and a price tag that says, “I get paid on commission.” Order yours with the fire-roasted seafood tower and toast to making only mildly bad decisions tonight.

4. The Beverly on Main

The Beverly is a vibe—think velvet booths, chandeliers, and strong cocktails served with a side of flirty banter from the bartenders. Their dirty martini comes heavy on the olive brine, light on the judgment. Perfect for pregame or postgame, depending on how messy your group chat is looking.

Dirty martini wisdom: In Old Town, everyone’s got a story, and most of them start (or end) with a dirty martini. Whether you’re spilling secrets at The Montauk, dancing on tabletops at Boondocks, or sliding into someone’s DMs at Maple & Ash, just remember— always chase your drink with water, your situationship with self- respect, and your night out with brunch the next morning.

Let’s get dirty, Scottsdale. You’ve earned it.